Monday, April 13, 2009

My Mom and Facebook

As I mentioned today in class my mother and I went through some crazy times on Facebook. Although it has mostly been resolved I thought I would share the e-mail that almost got me on national television. This is copy and pasted from the e-mail that I sent to the Fox morning show.

"My name is Elizabeth Sadler and I am 20 years old. I am from the south suburb of Chicago, Orland Park. I got to school at Utah Valley University and am entering my junior year. My mom is obsessed with facebook. Cynthia Sadler has been on facebook for just about as long as I have. Back in the days before she had one of her own she would sneak onto mine, read my messages and stalk people. However, once I went away to college she had no way to access my password and created one of her own. What started as a way to monitor me while I was away at school turned into a way to ruin my life. First off, one of the most embarrassing she does is use her facebook to communicate with my ex-boyfriend, because they are still friends. She likes him more then she likes me. She tries to get us to communicate even though I am very happy now in a different relationship. They write each other updates on life like they are best friends and its embarrassing that she still has that kind of relationship with someone I don’t even talk to. She also creates embarrassing events and party’s and because she has no friends to herself she invites all of mine and they feel weird getting the invitation. Whenever my mom and I get into a fight she de-friends me on facebook and writes me a nasty message. Then when she feels bad about it she asks to be friends with me again and apologizes. One of the more recent fights we have gotten in was when I wrote a fan song about the twilight book series and my mom took it and gave it to a bunch of my friends on facebook that don’t even read the books! Then when I asked her very politely to delete them from MY friend’s facebooks because they wouldn’t understand the songs she said this, a direct quote that was actually in all capitals (Emily Bleeker is my sister and ben is my boyfriend.), “I HAVE SOME GREAT NEWS FOR YOU. EMILY BLEEKER CAN NOW OFFICIALLY BE YOUR MOTHER NOW. CALLL HER WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF ALL OF THOSE THINGS YOUI USED TO CALL ME FOR .I AM SURE YOU ARE NOW THRILLED NOT TO HAVE TO PUT UP A FACADE NOW. GIVE BEN A MESSAGE FOR ME..I FORGOT TO TELL HIM TO BE CAREFUL WITH HIS HEART ....ELIZABETH IS A MASTER AT TEARING OUT HEARTS, STOMPING ON THEM , CHEWING THEM UP AND SPITTING THEM OUT. YOU CAN BLOCK LME FROM EVERYTHING TECHNOLOGY WISE, I WILL AS WELL...YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE IT IN EVERY OTHER WAY POSSIBLE. I WILL JOIN THEN RANKS OF THOSE TRYING TO REBUILD A LIFE AFTER LOVING YOU AND BEING TOTALLY DEDICATED TO YOU.SOMEONE YOU USED TO CARE ABOUT BUT, I FORGOT WHEN.”
This was all because I asked her to take MY song off of MY friend’s facebooks. She deactivated her facebook for about a day after this, but then of course activated it again. She thinks its cool that she has a facebook and my friends think its funny, but I think its embarrassing! When I was still dating my ex boyfriend she would use it to write him messages about things I told her in our relationship. She leaves uncomfortable comments on my friends pictures and walls. Even once commenting on my brother’s friends picture telling him how nice he looks without a shirt on! She embarrasses my older sister too although I can’t speak for her. And as if one facebook wasn’t enough she made ANOTHER one under my dads name that she still manages and does everything for it. There is no way it is my dads because he is conservative and does not like the lime light. For some reason she needs to have two accounts so people can be doubly interested in her life…
She uses facebook to search for self pity, trying to share my friends, make comments she things are funny but are really embarrassing, to follow the people I talk to, to send me messages when she is too afraid to talk to me in person, send me updates on my ex boyfriend, and to keep up with what I am doing in my life. She loves her facebook more then anything including me and I don’t know if she will ever let it go."

After this my mother and I did not speak, e-mail or especially facebook for 4 months. Just because of FACEBOOK. Granted our issues DO go deeper then that, but it is crazy what a big symbol something like facebook was for my mother. I learned a lot and know to keep parents and facebook separate.

35 comments:

  1. Wow. This is such an interesting story. I found it a little humorous when you were talking about it in class but I can see how it really is a serious problem. My parents are very different and would never even think about using facebook. They just feel like they are too old to be “chatting” with their friends over the internet. On the other hand it has been a serious problem with previous boyfriends and even my husband. It has never bothered me but sometimes they have even tried controlling who I add as a friend. It is such stupid little things. Who cares? Just little things it is just a little too much for some people to handle. People can get jealous and let these things control their lives. I think we put too much information on these types social networking.

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  2. All I can say is... WOW. This is the most disturbing blog post I have read all semester. Not to disrespect your mother or anything, but this woman might need some outside help. I sounded like you were talking about your friend or roommate, not your mother. I have thought that social networking sites could be quite dangerous to various relationships and your story proves it.

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